The Mummy

Not rated yet!
Director
Alex Kurtzman
Runtime
1 h 50 min
Release Date
6 June 2017
Genres
Fantasy, Thriller, Action, Adventure, Horror
Overview
Though safely entombed in a crypt deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient queen whose destiny was unjustly taken from her is awakened in our current day, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension.
Staff ReviewsAround the Web ReviewsAudience Reviews

Check back soon when the reviews are out!

Or why not join our mailing list to stay up to date?

 

SIGN UP!

Box office recaps sent twice a month (maximum). 

    ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ 
(☞゚ヮ゚)☞  No spam! ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)




 ✍🏻  > 🗡️   Want to join our team? Email us!  
Hugh Hewitt
Salem Radio Network@hughhewitt

(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • The Press and "Game of Thrones"
    As I peruse the news this morning I note that it does not take long after the Congressional baseball game for the headlines to return to the new normal of constant administration intrigue and unnamed sources mongering.  I felt a bit of bile start to rise and then I thought to myself, “Nah, they are just doing what they are supposed to do.” There job is to tell stories.  Sure they are supposed to be reported, not made up, but stories involve conflict and if you want people to read your story you have to play up the conflict.  In my adult lifetime the news media have discovered that argument sells.  Whether its “Firing Line,”  “McLaughlin,” “Point Counterpoint,” “Crossfire,” or now every panel on every show on cable news, the idea is to spark up a fight.  (Notice that’s a bit of an historical progression and as you go through time the rhetoric heats up.)  Let’s be honest, we like “Game of Thrones,” so if they want viewers/readers for their advertisers they are going to tell us what is going on in a Game of Thrones fashion.  They are just doing their job. My point is that the problem is, at a minimum, as much about us as it is about them.  We drink up this conflict-laden nonsense like thirsty desert travelers at an oasis.  What is it about us that desires conflict and intrigue?  Why do we enjoy that which tears down rather than that which builds up?  Like I said yesterday, we have a cultural problem, not a political problem and not really a press problem either The solution is also very much the same one I offered yesterday.  As the Apostle Paul closes his letter to the church in Phillipi he urges them: Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Take that out of “biblese” and read it in everyday language – it says simply, “Stop filling yourself with ugly things are start filling yourself with good stuff.”  In other words, turn off the cable news. What if we consumed news like we consume movies?  “Wonder Woman,” a movie about genuine heroism, goodness and overcoming adversity, is beating the pants off “The Mummy,” which everybody tells me is dark and dreary and about ugly things.  If we chose our news like we choose our movies I am fairly certain what we see in the news would change pretty rapidly. We can solve this problem, but by changing our habits, not demanding they change theirs. ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)

Christian Toto
Hollywood In Toto
@HollywoodInToto
(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • The 5 Worst Movies of 2017 (No. 1 May Be Worst Ever!)
    transformers-the-last-knight-review

    Here’s betting industry insiders pray the 2018 year in film is nothing like the last 12 months.

    It’s hard to pick the very worst revelation from 2017, even with welcome

    The post The 5 Worst Movies of 2017 (No. 1 May Be Worst Ever!) appeared first on Hollywood in Toto.

    ...
    (Review Source)

Michael Medved
@MedvedSHOW

(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • The Mummy
    ...
    (Review Source)

The Federalist
The Federalist@FDRLST

(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • 1 - Former Disney Exec: Hollywood Is Hurting Because It Makes Movies For ‘Lowest Common Denominator’ 
    Two longtime Hollywood producers say the lack of family fare is a major factor behind Hollywood’s slump—and they’re doing something about it.
    ...
    (Review Source)
  • 2 - The 15 Biggest Movie Bombs Of Summer 2017
    Summer 2017 overall was a dismal session for Hollywood, with the total box office nearly 16 percent lower than the previous year.
    ...
    (Review Source)

John Hanlon
John Hanlon Reviews @johnhanlon

(Reviewers' Site/Bio)
  • The Mummy
    Universal Studios was once well-known for its monster movies. Long before superheroes dominated the big screen, theaters were playing movies like Frankenstein (1931), The Mummy (1932) and Son of Dracula (1943). Each of these films focused on...
    ...
    (Review Source)

Plugged In
Focus on the Family@pluggedin

(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • 1 - The Mummy
    Sci-Fi/FantasyAction/AdventureHorrorDrama We hope this review was both interesting and useful. Please share it with family and friends who would benefit from it as well.Movie ReviewMan, those ancient Egyptians sure make a big deal out of one teensy-weensy murder spree. Some might say Ahmanet had every right to be peeved. (Well, Ahmanet would say so, at any rate.) She was next in line to be the queen of Egypt, after all. That's right, queen—a gig that comes with perks, like servants to feed you grapes, statues that look like you and all the sand you could ever want. But then the current Pharaoh fathered a son—a wholly inconsiderate act on his part—which left Ahmanet with just two options. One, to swallow the disappointment and content herself with being a well-fed, well-heeled member of Egyptian royalty; or two, make an unholy pact with ultimate evil and paint the palace red with her family's blood. Naturally, Ahmanet chooses the latter. She kills the Pharaoh, his wife and their son. But she's not done yet. To finalize her deal with Set, the Egyptian god of death, she has to kill her lover, too—freeing the guy's body for Set to, um, set up shop in it. Then he and Ahmanet can partner up and plunge the world into darkness and death. But before Ahmanet can strike that final blow, Egyptian guards capture her. Death, they decide, is too good for her. And given the fact that her deal with Set turned her into a tatted-up half-demon-thing, they figure some extra precautions are in order. First, they mummify her alive. Then they throw her in a heavy metal sarcophagus and ship her to Mesopotamia a thousand miles away. They dig a huuuge hole for her, fill her tomb with mercury (said to weaken demonic power) and then cover the whole works in dirt, hoping no one will ever find it again. Talk about overkill. Well, clearly, Ahmanet's in a pickle. It's hard to plunge the world into darkness and death when you're stuck in a— Wait, wait just a minute. What's that? Did Ahmanet just hear a huge explosion above her? Has it been 5,000 years already? Hey, look: daylight. Oh, and wow: Three people are rapelling into Ahmanet's uber-creepy tomb?! Surely, when they notice all the mercury, they'll put on gas masks, right? No? Well, perhaps when the lone archeologist in the bunch reads all the warning signs—like, literally, signs posted everywhere warning people not to disturb this terrible, terrible tomb—these folks'll take some additional precautions. Or maybe the legions of giant, biting spiders might deter them. No? Well, at least they won't dare to loose those ancient ropes and—oh, never mind. One of the explorers just loosed them. They say that patience is a virtue. And it seems that Ahmanet's 5,000 years of patience is just about to pay off. Great. Great for her, that is. Everyone else … not so much.Positive ElementsNick Morton is Ahmanet's official rope-looser. The mummy appreciates the gesture so much that she selects Nick as her next "beloved"—that is, the guy she's going to kill to introduce Set to the world. And because of Ahmanet's ability to weasel into his mind, Nick sometimes seems just fine with that. He's described as a perfect vessel for Set, given his lack of morals and his dearth of consideration for anyone but himself. But Jenny, the archaeologist, believes that underneath his rough exterior, Nick's an OK guy. "I knew there was more to you than money," she says. No, no, sorry. That's Princess Leia in Star Wars. (Wrong notes.) No, Jenny says, "Somewhere, fighting to get out, is a good man." And turns out, she's right: Nick turns from a selfish treasure-hunter into a self-sacrificing do-gooder. And he eventually shows a willingness to sacrifice pretty much everything—body, soul and spirit—for Jenny when the Egyptian chips are down. There are a few others who'd like to prevent the end of the world, too, if possible. Dr. Henry Jekyll is especially keen to do so, even though he knows it means making some uncomfortable sacrifices himself. Spiritual ContentTake a load off and set a spell, while I talk about Set and spells. Set, as mentioned, is the Egyptian god of death. (Or god of the desert, war, storms, chaos, wind, war, darkness, disorder, violence, etc., etc., depending on which source you look at.) Jekyll calls him out as evil and says that Christians call the very same guy Satan and Lucifer. But rather than follow the Christian idea that Satan and evil are already actively influencing our world, Jekyll characterizes evil as lurking just outside it, looking for a way to come in. Set has found a way into this realm through Ahmanet, who prays to the god and performs rites in his honor, and is thus rewarded with supernatural power. Her body is magically riddled with black, unreadable glyphs, and she's apparently granted immortality as well (though the years do take a toll on her eventually). Some animals (birds, rats, spiders) seem to do her bidding, and she has the ability to control certain minds (sometimes through spider bites). She's also able to call on the sand itself—including, apparently, sand grains of it that have been melted into glass. But perhaps her most fearsome ability is her knack for raising folks from the dead, who subsequently serve her as her shambling, zombie-like minions. We also learn that hundreds of years earlier, some Christian Crusaders found Ahmanet's crypt and spirited away her magic dagger (given to her by Set), hiding the blade in the statue of an angel (called a reliquary by Jenny) and a magic gem from its pommel in a Crusader grave. We assume that the Crusaders did this because they understood Ahmenet's nature and wanted to keep a critical source of her power away from her. Elsewhere, presumably Islamic fighters shoot up and deface ancient artifacts, mimicking the destruction we've seen from ISIS fighters. We hear that pharaohs were worshiped as "living gods." Some scenes take place in old Christian churches and tombs. There's talk about "angering the gods." [Spoiler Warning] Nick eventually gets stabbed by Ahmanet's magical dagger, which infects him with the spirit of Set. His human side seems to keep the Set side of him at bay while still allowing Nick to use Set's powers, including resurrecting a couple of people close to him. Sexual ContentBack in ancient Egypt, Ahmanet prays to Set naked: We see her nude form from the back and side in a handful of flashbacks. Even when she wears clothes back then, the robes are fairly gauzy and revealing. A lot of her skin (and sometimes bone and muscle) is visible after she's mummified, too: When she looks like her younger self, the bandages are wrapped tightly around her in strategic areas, accentuating her figure rather than hiding it. She sometimes straddles her lovers/victims, running her hands down their chests suggestively. She both kisses and licks men. Nick wakes up in a morgue, naked. (We see him from the side, but his genitals are obscured either by his hands or strategically placed tables.) Nick and Jenny also have a history. They banter suggestively about a the details of a one-night-stand they had in Bagdad. When Jenny accidentally reveals her midriff, Nick ogles her.Recommended ResourceA Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey With Your Kids About SexKevin LemanEven the bravest parents feel timid about discussing sex with their 8- to 14-year-olds! This resource offers reassuring, humorous, real-life anecdotes along with reliable information to help you with this challenging task.Buy NowViolent ContentAhmanet wasn't a gentle woman even when she was just a mortal woman. We see her skirmish with others in the Egyptian desert, knocking men down painfully with poles. She holds a knife to the Pharaoh's throat (though we don't see her make the cut that comes next). A baby dies by her hand, too: Again, we don't see the deed itself, but dark blood sprays tellingly across her contorted face. She's just about to plunge a dagger into her lover when she's caught; several darts puncture her neck, and hooks connected to cords pierce her body (though not in a particularly bloody fashion). Once freed from her coffin, Ahmanet rejuvenates by pressing her lips to the mouths of innocents and literally sucking the life out of them. Her victims morph into mummy-like husks, which then rise and follow her. These creatures—as well as other dead bodies that Ahmanet raises—battle Nick and others. They fling themselves through car windows and swim after folks in water. They're stubborn opponents, and even dismembering them doesn't stop their attack. Nick sometimes thwacks off arms or heads or most of their bodies, and they still come. Nick sometimes kicks through their bodies or crushes their heads into billowing dust. Ahmanet still rumbles, too. Blessed (cursed?) with superhuman strength, she can literally throw people around and smash massive tree limbs into splinters. At one point, she practically breaks Nick's leg, too. (Nick, perhaps through supernatural means, seems physically fine afterwards.) A plane crashes. Several people are either sucked out or die in the crash, and we see their bodies in a morgue later. Someone's stabbed to death. Another man gets shot three times. Still another character, perhaps in an hallucigenic state, is attacked by writhing hordes of rats that cover his body. Someone drowns. Nick has an extended melee with another character. Dr. Jekyll imprisons Ahmanet for a time: She's again darted with hooks attached to cords and chained in a large room, where workers apparently inject her body with freezing mercury. "It hurts!" she complains loudly. Soldiers shoot Ahmanet without effect. Nick and his friend Chris get pinned down during a gunfight. A sandstorm sends cars and busses flying and people scurrying for safety. Explosions go boom. Birds crash through plane windows; one leaves a bloody mark.Crude or Profane LanguageOne s-word and a few other profanities, including "a--," "b--ch," "b--tard," "d--n," "h---," "p-ss" and the British profanity "bloody." God's name is misused seven times. Drug and Alcohol ContentJenny and Nick spend time in a pub. Nick downs shots and chases them with beer. Other folks are shown drinking beer and other alcoholic beverages. Other Negative ElementsNick and Chris are not archaeologists, but treasure hunters who raid ancient tombs and sell what they find there on the black market. Nick learns about Ahmanet's tomb, actually, only after stealing a letter from Jenny. Ahmanet vomits mercury.ConclusionOn one level, you could say that The Mummy is about Nick—a wayward, moral-free treasure hunter who finds, in the end, a certain level of compassion, humanity, love and redemption. He's asked to make sacrifices. And in time, he develops a willingness to answer that call. And that's all great … as far as it goes. On another level, though—and this is really the level that counts—The Mummy is a mindless exercise in CGI wonder and PG-13 horror. It delivers action sequences strung together with just the barest thread of a plot or even reason. While it presents itself as a standard summer blockbuster (and, indeed, Universal has planned The Mummy as the first of a new franchise of classic monster reboots), it's both surprisingly sexual and surprisingly frightening. The movie's muddy spirituality should give many families pause, as well. Mostly, though, this movie just felt confused. Its internal logic is inconsistent. Scenes show up for really no real reason at all—feeling about as stuffed in there as a walrus in spandex. There's no compelling reason why The Mummy should exist at all, really, other than to line Universal's pockets. Sure, the same could be said for lots of would-be blockbusters, but most still want to tell a reasonably good, or at least sensible, story. You'll find precious little sense in this flick. Perhaps it should've been kept under wraps.Pro-social ContentObjectionable ContentSummary AdvisoryPlot SummaryChristian BeliefsOther Belief SystemsAuthority RolesProfanity/ViolenceKissing/Sex/HomosexualityDiscussion TopicsAdditional Comments/NotesEpisode Reviews]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)
  • 2 - Wonder Woman Lassos No. 1
    In comic books and cartoons, Wonder Woman sometimes gets around via an invisible plane. But it turns out, she doesn’t need it to fly to some pretty lofty cinematic heights. Wonder Woman soared to the top of the box office this weekend, using those nifty bracelets of hers to deflect anyone who’d try to take her down. Her namesake movie surpassed expectations earned 103.1 million in North America. She proved that her appeal goes beyond the ol’ red, white and blue, too, chalking up another $122.5 million overseas. All told, superherodom’s grand dame earned a grand total of $225.6 million. The film proved that female superheroes are not box office poison (even when one of them has a nemesis called “Dr. Poison”). Wonder Woman banked the highest opening of any female-fronted superhero movie in history, though admittedly the competition wasn’t exactly robust. (According to Box Office Mojo, the nearest comic book competitor would be Ghost in the Shell, which collected a modest $18.7 million in its debut earlier this year.) It also gave Patty Jenkins the distinction of being the first female director to helm a movie that made in excess of $100 million in its debut. Another movie taking its theatrical bow, the toilet-humor obsessed Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, earned a flush $23.5 million—a bit under what most prognosticators were betting. At this rate, a Second Epic Movie may be down the drain already. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales dug up another estimated $21.6 million worth of booty to take third place and to crest the $100 million mark. Johnny Depp’s fifth turn as Capt. Jack Sparrow has now hooked $114.6 million in North America. On the downside for the franchise, it lost nearly two-thirds of its audience in its second week out, which means the one-time sturdy craft is taking on water. But shed no tears for Jack and Co., because Dead Men has raked in $386.6 million, ahem, overseas, pushing its international cume past the half-billion mark already. (I don’t think anyone would be surprised if Capt. Jack returns to helm his beloved Black Pearl for a sixth high-seas adventure somewhere in the future, even though the latest sequel ended with a happily ever after finale of sorts to supposedly close out the franchise.) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 slid into the box office’s fourth slot with $9.7 million, or thereabouts. The sturdy superhero vehicle has lingered in the Top Five for five straight weeks. Closing out the Top Five is Baywatch, which squeezed another soggy $8.5 million from the box office’s choppy waters. Will Wonder Woman be able to win for a second week? Perhaps. But another powerful woman—this one in the shape of The Mummy‘s nasty villainess (who fights the equally well-preserved Tom Cruise)—may have something to say about that. ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)

Debbie Schlussel
The New York Post
@DebbieSchlussel
(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • Wknd Box Office: Megan Leavey, The Mummy, Paris Can Wait, It Comes At Night, My Cousin Rachel
    Blog Posts Movie Reviews The Mummy – Rated PG-13: I never saw the original “The Mummy” movie, but as with most other reboots, I’m not sure why this was and is necessary (other than to earn Hollywood types, including star Tom Cruise, a big paycheck). If the original Mummy movie was anything like this, I’m glad I missed it. This is a mess. About the first 25% of the movie is fine, but then it just becomes a totally ridiculous mess and never recovers. I mean, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Russell Crowe, who famously attacked Jewish circumcision but not the Muslim kind)? Really? That needed to be inserted into this movie? Only because the scriptwriters wrote such a weak, awful cyclone of a story. The tornado of a script picks everything up in ts whirlwind and then throws it to the ground, severely damaged. In the original Mummy movie, the mummy is male. In this one, it’s a woman–an Egyptian princess (Moroccan actress, Sofia Boutella), who is robbed of her birthright when her father, the Pharoah, has a male heir. Yup, somehow this faux-feminist story is a justification for the chick mummy’s evil . . . or something. It’s hard to tell which way the movie is rooting, since it’s all over the place. The movie begins with the mummy-ette’s story, then fast forwards to contemporary times when American troops are still in Iraq (this is the second movie like that this week). Cruise and a fellow former soldier are dealers in stolen antiquities looted from the Middle East (there’s Hollywood’s anti-Western, evil-White-man-takes-from-the-Muslims narrative again). They are in the mountains, scoping out the ancient Iraqi city of Nineveh (which was Assyrian, back in the day). The city is now in the control of insurgents and they end up in the crossfire. Soon the insurgents are vanquished and leave, as a sinkhole swallows everything and reveals an ancient Egyptian tomb–that of the aforementioned Egyptian princess. Cruise, the other guy, and a sexy female archeologist enter the tomb and Cruise ends up freeing the princess’ tomb from a bath of mercury, allowing her spirit to come back to life. On the way back to the West, the princess’ evil spirit causes an air disaster over the UK. Then, the story starts moving and gets very stupid very quickly. Cruise, who should be dead, is miraculously alive and constantly sees the possessed ghost of his fellow antiquities robber. Cruise learns that the sexy archeologist is really evil and an acolyte of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But then he is allied with her against the mummy. It doesn’t make sense, nor does most of this movie. The rest of the movie revolves around the mummy trying to get a sword re-united with a magical jewel that will complete the restoration of her powers and ability to destroy humanity. Or something. It’s kinda confusing. And apparently the sword is buried in an old (but newly discovered) Crusader burial ground under the London subway. HUH? Yeah, I know. It’s absurd. And not worth your ten-bucks-plus or nearly two hours of your life you’ll never get back. ONE MARX ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)

Crosswalk
Cross Walk@crosswalk_com

(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • 1 - The Mummy Cruises into Mediocrity
    Movies They probably should have left this one in the crypt. Despite the mummy of the title—plus zombies, a mysterious top-secret agency, and mayhem on planes, trains (or their tunnels), and automobiles—The Mummy is not as much fun as it should be. 2.5 out of 5.   Synopsis It’s just another day at the office when "liberator of precious antiquities" (aka "grave robber") Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) and his buddy (Jake Johnson) accidentally uncover a heretofore hidden Egyptian tomb. Unfortunately for Nick, that tomb holds a mummified Egyptian princess (Sofia Boutella) who's been holding a grudge for millennia… and she thinks he's just the man to help her wreak vengeance on an unsuspecting world.   What Works? The Mummy has its fair share of "gotcha" moments, some rather lovely scenery, and entertaining fights—especially the ones involving zombies. The mummy herself is interesting to watch, especially her slow transformation from dried husk to almost human. The humor is rarely all that funny, but at least they tried. Universal Pictures' Dark Universe is reviving classic monster characters for a new generation; The Mummy is their first offering. It's a fine idea, but...   googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-1'); }); What Doesn't? Cruise's character. Tom squares his jaw and flashes his grin for all he's worth, but Nick is an empty shell. There's no chemistry between Nick and his supposed love interest, archeologist Jenny (Annabelle Wallis), because Nick is too fond of himself to have any emotions left over. I'm not so sure his big "sacrifice" at the end really is one. It's all just 'meh.' The filmmakers tried to cram too much worldbuilding into this one movie, resulting in a hodgepodge of tropes. Not only do we have the mummy of the title, there are zombies. Okay, fine, but would devout Crusaders leave their tombs at the behest of an Egyptian princess? Doubtful. Then there's Russel Crowe's character, the leader of the mysterious Prodigium, Dr. Jekyll. Yes, that Dr. Jekyll. Again, okay, but there's an unnecessary scene when Mr. Hyde comes out to play that feels like filler. And on and on it goes. The princess basically sells her soul to the devil in order to achieve ultimate power, but then she spends most of the movie trying to create an immortal boyfriend. Call me sensitive, but that feels lame, and a tad sexist to boot. Then Jenny, a supposedly competent historian, is portrayed as a useless bit of screaming fluff who constantly needs rescuing. Dark Universe may be reviving old monsters but the outdated stereotype of the helpless female needs a sarcophagus.   Christian Worldview Elements / Spiritual Themes At its core, The Mummy is about greed. The princess was power-hungry; when she was cast aside she made a deal with the devil to get her position back. Nick is so determined to steal precious objects for personal gain that he puts everyone in danger. Dr. Jekyll claims he's trying to contain evil, but he'll stop at nothing to control it. The doctor also explains that "the god of death and destruction" who Ahmanet is so eager to rouse is known as Satan in the Bible.   CAUTIONS (may contain spoilers) MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence, action and scary images, and for some suggestive content and partial nudity Language/Profanity: SOB (not abbreviated), bloody he**, da**, sh**, bas**rd, as*. Sexuality/Nudity: There are several veiled discussions about a sexual encounter between a man and woman. A woman is shown nude while engaging in an unholy ritual but she's in the shadows. A man unexpectedly wakes up nude and is surprised by visitors, but we don't see anything explicit. Ahmanet's power has sexual overtones. Violence/Frightening/Intense: Multiple murders, mostly by stabbing; a baby is one of the (offstage) victims. Bugs, rats, and birds swarm in a creepy-crawly kind of way. There’s a lot of fighting that includes stabbings, gunshots, and slamming people into stone things that should have killed them but somehow doesn't. Ahmanet gives the kiss of (un)death to turn people into zombies, who then chase and try to kill people. Some of the hand-to-hand fights are quite vicious. Drugs/Alcohol: One scene shows a character in a bar downing drink after drink.   The Bottom Line RECOMMENDED FOR: Monster movie buffs and diehard Tom Cruise fans. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone who doesn’t like monsters or characters with powers purportedly derived from the devil. The Mummy, directed by Alex Kurtzman, opens in theaters June 9, 2017. It runs 110 minutes and stars Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis, and Russel Crowe. Watch the trailer for The Mummy here.   Susan Ellingburg spends most days helping to create amazing live events and most nights at the movies, at rehearsals, or performing with vocal ensembles in the Dallas area. This leaves very little time for cleaning house. A natural-born Texan, Susan loves all things British, Sunday afternoon naps, cozy mysteries, traveling with friends, and cooking like a Food Network star (minus the camera crew). Publication date: June 9, 2017 googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-2'); }); if (gptClientWidth >= 992 && gptClientWidth <= 1000000) googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-3'); }); Image courtesy: ©Universal ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)
  • 2 - Aimless Mummy 3 Never Comes to Life
    Movies DVD Release Date:  December 16, 2008Theatrical Release Date:  August 1, 2008Rating:  PG-13 (for adventure action and violence)Genre:  Action AdventureRun Time:  112 min.Director:  Rob CohenActors:  Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Luke Ford, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, John Hannah, Isabella LeongThe Mummy series, starring Brendan Fraser, has never been a critics’ favorite. The first film in the series, The Mummy, was released in 1999 and registered a 53 percent “fresh” rating (the percentage of positive reviews) at the online ratings site Rotten Tomatoes. A sequel, The Mummy Returns which released in 2001, fared a bit worse, coming in at just 47 percent “fresh.” Those summertime blockbusters, full of ghostly special effects, didn’t need positive reviews: The first Mummy movie grossed $155 million at the North American box office ($415 million worldwide), while its sequel, with slightly worse reviews, brought in slightly more money—$202 million in North America ($430 worldwide). If it follows that worse reviews correspond to higher grosses, then look for the new Mummy sequel, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, to far surpass its two predecessors at the box office. A mess in terms of story, character and execution, this is a sequel that is not only critic-proof, it’s almost review-proof. Where to begin? Fraser returns as Rick O’Connell, now settled into married life with his wife, Evelyn (Maria Bello, taking over for Rachel Weisz). Their outward appearance and stately life signal that they’ve put their past adventures behind them, but when asked to get back in the game, they throw off all pretense and dive in, eager for one more adventure. Over in China, their son, Alex (Luke Ford), has discovered a major archaeological find. What Alex doesn’t know, however, is that the army of preserved mummies he’s found is at the service of the Dragon King (Jet Li), an emperor “of all under heaven” whose quest to “defeat his last enemy—death itself” was thwarted in 200 B.C. by Zi Juan, a witch (Michelle Yeoh) with a score to settle. The emperor is cursed, but if the curse is lifted, all mankind will die. Once unleashed, the Dragon Emperor shifts into the shape of various creatures, including a three-headed dragon, as he uses his mastery of the five elements to take on anyone who would thwart his quest for domination. It’s up to Alex, Rick and Evelyn to stop him. Evelyn’s brother (John Hannah) pitches in for comic relief, while Alex gets a girlfriend (Isabella Leong), and they all try to get close enough to the emperor to pierce his heart—the only way to kill him, they’re told. Did I mention the abominable snowmen (called “yeti”) who help out? The action scenes are difficult to follow and the dialogue is little more than a parade of dumb jokes (“the yak yakked”) and exclamations (“avalanche!”) Fraser, saddled with a series of one-liners that fall flat, is even weaker in his third stab at Mummy work than he was earlier this summer in his less-than-inspired performance in Journey to the Center of the Earth. Will he ever make another serious film, or is The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor the sort of work for which he wants to be remembered? The other actors fare no better. Fans of Jet Li will be disappointed to see how sorely underused he is here, while the radiant Michelle Yeoh just barely escapes this train wreck of a film with her dignity intact. Writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar have given these performers very little to work with, and director Rob Cohen (who made the abysmal Stealth) is more interested in CGI armies of the undead than he is in his flesh-and-blood actors. For the Mummy series, the third time offers no charm. Neither darkly compelling like The Dark Knight nor thoughtfully entertaining like Wall•E, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is an also-ran in the summer sweepstakes. Best skip it and enjoy one of those other films, or a DVD at home, instead. Or better yet, read a good old-fashioned adventure story, like Treasure Island, The Count of Monte Cristo or The Three Musketeers.   Questions? Comments? Contact the writer at [email protected]/* = 992 && gptClientWidth <= 1000000) googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-2'); }); CAUTIONS: Language/Profanity:  A sexual joke; a few crude anatomical references. Drugs/Alcohol:  A few scenes of drinking; a comment that “drinking is mandatory.” Sex/Nudity:  Passionate kissing while in bed; a couple of other brief kissing scenes; wife strips to a nightie and makes suggestive comments toward husband; man’s bare chest is shown. Violence:  An assassination attempt; a man hooks himself while fly fishing; body parts fall off mummified corpses; a man’s face melts; arrows and other death devices triggered by booby-traps; people jump from a moving vehicle; the emperor takes the form of different creatures and then attacks; a suicide; stabbings; a jeep with people inside is bombed; a man and woman are crushed between water wheels; attempts to pierce a heart; gunfire. Religion:  The king seeks the secret of immortality and has been taught by mystics; curses are central to the story; ancient creatures are called on to defeat “evil” soldiers; a reference to ruling “in hell.”   ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)

Armond White
The National Review / OUT@3xchair

(Reviewer Site/Bio)
  • The Mummy Unwrapped: American Guilt and Masochism
    Tom Cruise is a product of the ’80s, the period when American movies gave up that mesmerizing 1970s spirit of self-examination and became fatally “high-concept.” Cruise’s recent string of action movies showcasing his bantam intrepidness have all been frenetically “high-concept,” including his new remake of The Mummy. Unlike classically introspective 1970s movies such as The Godfather, The Long Goodbye, Hard Times, Sisters, or Invasion of the Body Snatchers — films of various genres whose narrative revisions (and emotional depth) were based in the era’s social restlessness -- Cruise’s The Mummy merely updates the horror genre to fit a meaningless, diversionary paradigm.
    Read More ...
    ...
    (Review Source)

Want even more consensus?

Skip Rotten Tomatoes, they’re biased SJWs too afraid to criticize things like the Ghost Busters reboot. Avoid giving them ad revenue by using the minimalist alternative, Cinesift, for a quick aggregate:

 🗣️ Know of another conservative review that we’re missing?
Leave a link in the comments below or email us!  
Do you recommend seeing/supporting this film?

What’d you think? Let us know with a video:

Record a webcam review!

Or anonymous text review:

Submit your review
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5
Submit
     
Cancel

Create your own review

Average rating:  
 0 reviews
Overall Hollywood Bs Average rating:  
 
Anti-patriotism Average rating:  
 
Misandry Average rating:  
 
Affirmative action Average rating:  
 
LGBTQ rstuvwxyz Average rating:  
 
Anti-God Average rating:  
 

Buy on Amazon:

Price: $12.99
⚠️  Comment freely, but please respect our young users.
👍🏻 Non PC comments/memes/vids/links 
👎🏻  Curse words / NSFW media / JQ stuff
👌🏻 Visit our 18+  free speech forum to avoid censorship.
⚠️ Keep your kids’ websurfing safe! Read this.

Share this page:

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmail