Minions

Not rated yet!
Director
Kyle Balda, Pierre Coffin
Runtime
1 h 31 min
Release Date
17 June 2015
Genres
Family, Animation, Adventure, Comedy
Overview
Minions Stuart, Kevin and Bob are recruited by Scarlet Overkill, a super-villain who, alongside her inventor husband Herb, hatches a plot to take over the world.
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Plugged In8
Focus on the Family



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • Plugged In Movie Review: Minions
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    (Review Source)
  • Minions
    AnimationKidsComedy We hope this review was both interesting and useful. Please share it with family and friends who would benefit from it as well.Movie ReviewFrom the moment the yellow, Twinkie-like Minions popped up out of the primordial ooze, they had one thing on their tiny babbling minds: Find the biggest, baddest boss around and serve him. After all, it's the deadliest dog that gets the bone. And it's the most menacing monster that frightens away potential threats. So it only makes sense to them that they should tag along with some horrible honcho and become his henchmen. Or perhaps henchminions. Of course, that doesn't mean the Minions were always all that good at, uh, henching. That's because these little goggle-eyed goofballs frequently tend to, uh, destroy their would-be monstery masters. They accidently push the mighty T. rex into bubbling lava, surprise Dracula with a crisping dose of morning sunshine, blow away Napoleon with his own cannon ... the list of mortal blunders goes on. In fact, after a few thousand years or so, the Minion tribe finds itself alone in the Antarctic. Surviving, but, well, kinda depressed. After all, who can really enjoy a good wintery song or a snowball fight without a fiendish boss watching? That's when Minions Kevin, Bob and Stuart make a unilateral decision for their whole myriad tribe: to set off on a quest to find a new superbaddie whom they all can serve and idolize. They're determined to slip on their snowshoes and trek the world over, if necessary, to find that special, dastardly, nasty, powerful and heartless someone they long for. And find her they do, in the form of a world-conqueror-in-a-crimson-dress named Scarlet Overkill. Why, she's ruthless! Maniacal! More than a little vain! In other words, she's perfect! The guys simply need to find their way to something the humans call Villain-Con and demonstrate their best baddie sidekick skills … ... if they can come up with any, that is.Positive ElementsFor all their desire to serve a big bad wolf-type leader, the Minions are all pretty innocent, kiddish and sweet. They may be happy to carry around a boss's death ray, but they'd never dream of actually using it on anyone. And so when they set off to steal the Queen of England's crown, it's much more about just making Scarlett happy than getting rich or making anyone else sad—or understanding that stealing is a bad thing, for that matter. (They're kinda one-dimensional like that.) Those mindless Minion pals (Kevin, Bob and Stu) are also rather selfless at times, putting themselves at risk when their pals (or others) are in danger. Kevin repeatedly treats Bob like a kid brother, cleaning his messy face with a moistened thumb and giving him a bit of arm-around comforting. When Scarlett threatens the boys with a missile, an oversized Kevin goes so far as to swallow the weapon to protect the others. And after all of Scarlett's threats and attacks, Bob even gives her a prized possession of his own in an effort to make her feel better.Spiritual ContentThe Minions mumble the word kumbaya as a symbol of peaceful agreement. The film's opening moments depict the Minions' origination as one-celled organisms that evolve into … one-brain-celled organisms with arms and legs.Sexual ContentWe see a few bare Minion backsides—generally played for kiddy giggles. A group of Minions step out of the ocean onto land, for instance, and one of their number gasps because he appears to have lost his swimsuit. He runs back to the water and sighs in relief after pasting two starfish on his featureless chest. In another scene, Stuart wears a thong swimsuit into a hot tub where he embraces two yellow, inanimate, fire hydrants. When Scarlet reconnects with her husband, Herb, she embraces him, and the two express love for each another. Kenny gigglingly mimes the couple's embrace to the other Minions, wrapping his arms around himself and squeezing his own backside. Elsewhere, Minions stand on one another's shoulders to dress up as a human woman in order to pass by some guards. Kenny's goggled eyes land at the approximate location of the "woman's" bust line and he shocks a passerby when he flips up his eye covering to look around. Three hypnotized human guards strip down to boxers and sing a "Minion lingo" chorus, a nonsensical ditty set to a tune from the musical Hair. They give one another slaps on their backsides at one point in the song. Several adoring fans at the Villain-Con dress up in outfits mimicking Scarlett Overkill, one of whom is a man with a mustache. After Scarlett's dress becomes a rocket of sorts, we see her adjust her outfit to make sure the top part stays put properly. A male hairdresser is played effeminately. A crime-related magazine features a "centerfold" of a fully clothed Scarlett.Recommended ResourceA Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey With Your Kids About SexKevin LemanEven the bravest parents feel timid about discussing sex with their 8- to 14-year-olds! This resource offers reassuring, humorous, real-life anecdotes along with reliable information to help you with this challenging task.Buy NowViolent ContentPratfall thumping and bumping reigns supreme here. Early on, we see fish gobbling each other up, a caveman getting jumped by a massive bear, a soldier impaled by his own sword, a pyramid landing on a crowd of Egyptians, Dracula turned to ash by the sun, etc. But it's all played as slapstick silliness rather than anything painful or truly deadly. (Never mind that none of these unfortunates would likely agree.) The Minions, meanwhile, are picked up by a villainous but cheery family of bank robbers who speed away from police, shooting paintballs. Their baby pulls the pin on a grenade that's then chucked out the window. And the Minions accidentally trigger an RPG that blows up a nearby water tower and causes the police to crash. When we first meet Scarlett, she issues a challenge to the baddies gathered to see her. As these muscular thugs and villains attack her, she fends them off with flips, punches and thumps, leaving them all unconscious in a pile by the end. She tells the boys a bedtime story about her blowing them up if they disappoint her. Missiles are loosed, buildings are crumbled. A time-leaping scientist is accidentally knocked in the head with a heavy object and killed, after which all the other timeline versions of him blink out of existence. At one point, the Minions are sent into a dungeon where Scarlett expects them to be tortured. But her hubby, Herb, soon realizes that Minions are so stretchy and spongy they can't be tortured. Every scary-looking thing he tries (the rack, a hangman's noose, etc.) turns into something akin to playground fun as the boys tumble and laugh during their supposed "torture." Even a punch to the crotch turns out to be pain-free for the genderless Minions.Crude or Profane LanguageThe Minions make several harsh exclamations of "bee-do," "ba-na-na" and … OK, those little guys with their silly lingo don't say anything that their young fans couldn't repeat. Characters around them say "gosh," "heck, yeah" and the mild British pseudo-profanity "blimey" once or twice.Drug and Alcohol ContentA Minion is shown drinking what looks like a martini. The Queen drinks pints of beer with blokes at a local pub and might just be a bit snockered.Other Negative ElementsA huge Sumo wrestler runs around dressed in a small loincloth. Bob passes gas for a giggle. The dangers of war, hitchhiking, bank robbing and crown jewel stealing all get shrugged off as simply good Minion fun. At one point, it looks as if a giant Kevin is urinating on a fire, though the stream is actually coming from a fire hydrant.Conclusion"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!" a familiar commercial slogan once said. That ad made it quite clear who should be yearning for its featured bowl of multi-colored, morning-time sweetness. But, of course, we all know it's not just breakfast cereal companies that have specific marketing targets in mind. Movies zero in on those kinds of bull's-eyes too. So if Pixar's recently released Inside Out is a bright and thoughtful animation laced with emotion aimed at making adults just a tad teary, then Minions is, well, just for kids, silly rabbit. Other than a light message about sacrificing for friends, this prequel to the Despicable Me films is little more than 90 minutes of goofy silliness designed to uncork a cluster of cackling kid convulsions. It's something like the modern equivalent of an old Three Stooges flick—only with cuter, more childlike protagonists. The Minions are the kind of adorable dweebs who belly-laugh over a good banana-peel pratfall, snicker over someone being thwacked in the backside and pucker up for a childlike goodnight kiss before night-night. The only slight problem with this film's kid-focused formula is that sometimes it features a few more bare yellow backsides, goofy sensual wink-winks and try-that-on-your-brother head-boinks than Mom and Dad might be completely comfortable with.Pro-social ContentObjectionable ContentSummary AdvisoryPlot SummaryChristian BeliefsOther Belief SystemsAuthority RolesProfanity/ViolenceKissing/Sex/HomosexualityDiscussion TopicsAdditional Comments/NotesEpisode Reviews]]>
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  • Minions Bag Jurassic World
    At the beginning of the movie Minions, our capsule-shaped protagonists accidentally dispatch their first boss ever—the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex, king of the dinosaurs. And now, it seems, fictional animated history repeats itself. Universal’s Minions rumbled to a phenomenal $115.2 million estimated weekend, chucking Jurassic World into the pool of box office-afterthought lava. It nearly set an opening-weekend record for animated movies, finishing second all-time to 2007’s Shrek the Third ($121.6 million). Oh, and get this: Minions has already made a staggering $280.5 million overseas, too. Sure, these nonsense-nattering yellow critters are built to serve the biggest, baddest thing around, this week they’re as big and as intimidating as it gets. Take that, Indominus Rex. Even though a new champion has claimed the box office throne, Jurassic World and Inside Out continue their seemingly summer-long rivalry. World again looks to have the upper hand, banking $18.1 million to claim second place. Inside Out finished third with $17.1 million. They’re now the year’s No. 1 and No. 4 movies, respectively, and have earned a combined $874.2 million in North America. Terminator: Genisys finished fourth with $13.7 million, while newcomer The Gallows managed to hang around the Top Five with $10 mil. The weekend’s third major new entrant, Self/less, lived up to the second half of its name, at least, earning just $5.4 million to finish eighth, lagging behind Magic Mike XXL ($9.6 million) and Ted 2 ($5.6 million). Final figures update: 1. Minions, $115.7 million; 2. Jurassic World, $18.2 million; 3. Inside Out, $17.7 million; 4. Terminator: Genisys, $13.8 million; 5. The Gallows, $9.8 million. ]]>
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Crosswalk2
Cross Walk



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • Minions a Gru-Some Addition to Despicable Me Series
    Movies DVD Release Date: December 8, 2015Theatrical Release Date: July 10, 2015Rating: PG (for action and rude humor)Genre: ComedyRun Time: 91 min.Directors: Kyle Balda, Pierre CoffinCast: Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Allison Janney, Michael Keaton, Steve Coogan, Geoffrey Rush, Jennifer Saunders, Steve Carell It’s not even mid-July and already the summer movie season has soured. With last week's Terminator Genisys and now this week's Minions, a summer that started with better-than-expected sequels (the R-rated Mad Max: Fury Road and PG-13-rated Jurassic World) has settled into a summer of disappointing franchise entries. Lackluster sequels aren't unusual—they're the rule, not the exception—but because Minions is aimed at a younger audience, the dissatisfaction in this case feels all the more despicable. CrosswalkMovies.com: from crosswalkmovies on GodTube.SEE ALSO: Despicable Me Doesn't Distinguish Itself From Better Alternatives googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-1'); }); Minions predates the Despicable Me stories in which the grown-up Gru devises devious schemes with the help of those yellow, big-eyed goofballs called minions. This origin story about the little troublemakers begins with the title creatures as single-cell organisms who, by the time of the dinosaurs, have evolved into a form we recognize. But the minions can’t fulfill their potential without a villainous partner to bring out their worst. Latching on to the most despicable master they can find, the minions prove too much for a fearsome dinosaur and the likes of Napoleon and Count Dracula. The story hurtles through time, settling in 1968, the year that our three minion protagonists—Bob, Kevin and Stuart—attempt to end the minions' sense of purposelessness by finding a new master to serve. But the problem with the film is obvious and established long before they make contact with femme fatale Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock, The Heat): these little fellas don't just need any old villain in order to thrive. They need Gru. And Gru needs the minions. The most enjoyable moments from the earlier films included the minions assisting Gru, so it was natural that the creators would latch on to the lovable sidekicks for their own feature. The problem is that Bob, Kevin and Stuart don't have much to do besides speak silly Minion-ese to one another (no subtitles are required to figure out what they're saying) while traveling to England and Orlando, among other places. The filmmakers know that the minions themselves aren't robust enough characters to sustain a feature-length running time, so writer Brian Lynch (Puss in Boots) has them catch a ride with Madge (Allison Janney, Juno) and Walter (Michael Keaton, Birdman) Nelson to a villain convention in Florida. Soon the little yellow creatures have latched onto Scarlet, who enlists them in a scheme to steal the Queen of England’s crown.SEE ALSO: Despicable Me 2 Delivers More Than Expected No one expects grand storytelling from a Despicable Me spinoff, but we do expect to laugh—heartily, as we did (at least a few times) during the first two Despicable Me films. Minions, by contrast, barely does enough to raise a smile, much less a decent laugh, during its episodic, scattershot 91 minutes. The story gives us three minions as main characters, when it should have settled on just one as its main focus. Even its villains are too numerous. There's Scarlet, but there’s also her husband, Herb (Jon Hamm, Million Dollar Arm), as well as the oddball Nelson crew. The movie throws in the Queen (Jennifer Saunders, Coraline), a professor (Steve Coogan, Philomena) and—perhaps most off-putting—some quick images of people preparing to rob a bank and a finale that includes a chainsaw-wielding bad guy. Was that the filmmakers' idea of a family-friendly finale? It matters little by that late point in the film, which has failed up to then to charm, or—imagine!—delight. Minions is a major misfire that never gels. It's less a story than a series of gags, very few of which (if any) work. Who would've thought that the little yellow creatures who produced so many goofy gags in the first two Despicable Me movies would, given their own story, leave viewers stone-faced? Minions isn't just disappointing—it's baffling. It's also best forgotten—and the sooner the better.SEE ALSO: Despicable Me 2 Video Review CAUTIONS (may contain spoilers): googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-2'); }); if (gptClientWidth >= 992 && gptClientWidth <= 1000000) googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-3'); }); Language/Profanity: “screwed it up”; “I hate you” Drinking/Smoking/Drugs: Drinking in a pub Sex/Nudity: Minion’s goggles behind a sweater fill out the chest area of a female disguise; a minion pretends he’s kissing someone; a minion in a thong; guards slap their own bottoms Violence/Crime: Minions seek the “most despicable master” they can find; a dinosaur falls to its death off screen;  a bear eats a man off screen; a planned bank heist; a collection of stolen art, guitars and other goods; a block of ice knocks out an abominable snowman; Scarlet is an uber-villain; a mission to steal the Queen of England’s crown; the keeper of the crown hits minions with a cane; a chainsaw wielding villain; Scarlet points a gun at the minions; a dungeon master attempts to torture the minions, but traditional torture methods fail; a chandelier falls on a character’s head Religion/Marriage/Morals: Story starts with minions living with dinosaurs prior to the dawn of man Publication date: July 9, 2015 ]]>
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  • Minions, Dinosaurs & Christian Cinema: Crosswalk's Most Popular Movie Reviews of 2015
    Movies Every year, Crosswalk endeavors to provide our readers with a comprehensive guide to the latest films. Though we strive to engage pop culture from a Christian mindset, we also hope to encourage original art, Biblical craftsmanship, and maybe even a few laughs along the way. The following are the most read movie reviews of 2015.   10. Spielberg Touch Makes Jurassic World a Worthy Successor No one expected a return visit to Jurassic Park, but the new prehistoric adventure was well-worth the price of a ticket. With fresh faces, fantastic design, and an oddly self-aware story, Jurassic World showed us that Hollywood can still do sequels right. Key Quote: “This year's Mad Max: Fury Road and Jurassic World show how well done sequels can be. Rather than giving us Hollywood at its worst, these films have energized a franchise-heavy summer. While one wouldn't wish for more remakes and reboots, these films are making the case that storylines that seem dated, played out and way past their prime can be refreshed in sensational ways.”   9. Still Plenty of Magic Left in Cinderella's Glass Slipper Disney kicked off a new era of live-action films last year with the classic tale of a girl and a glass slipper. Though the reimagined story lacked the charm of the original, it still featured a number of outstanding performances from Cate Blanchett, Richard Madden, and Helena Bonham Carter. A small step into a promising future.SEE ALSO: Jesus, Pixar, & Disney: Crosswalk’s Top 10 Movie Features of 2015 googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-1'); }); Key Quote: “While the storyline is familiar, there’s no need for contempt because there's still plenty of magic left in that trademark glass slipper, including inspired direction from a strong stage presence like Kenneth Branagh (Thor), an underlying message about the importance of kindness, and striking visuals where every detail is lovingly and elaborately crafted.”   8. The Drop Box Will Touch Your Heart, Bring You to Tears What else is there to say about The Drop Box that hasn’t already been said? The film is a painful, yet beautiful reminder of God’s relentless love for mankind. With its steadfast message of love, hope, and family, The Drop Box will steal your heart. Key Quote: “Christians everywhere will fall in love with this film, because it reminds us of God’s unrelenting love, and of the task he's set before us. God came for the orphaned and forgotten, filling them with a love so great it's still talked about to this day.”   7. Inside Out a Literal Train Ride of Emotions in the Best Way Possible With Inside Out, Pixar turned its gaze inward to examine the subtle workings of the human mind in their own, unique fashion. There was a lot to love about this new film, including but not limited to the priceless voice work of Amy Poehler as Joy. Just avoid mentioning Bing Bong unless you feel like bursting into tears!SEE ALSO: Marriage, Divorce & Ruining Children: Crosswalk's Top 10 Family Articles of 2015 Key Quote: “To an adult, Inside Outis almost painfully funny. All those emotions are oh-so-familiar and their reactions are spot on. That's not an accident; director Pete Docter (Up) did his research to make the science as accurate as possible because, as he told NPR's Terry Gross, ‘You just don't want to make a film that scientists go to and roll their eyes at.’”   6. Minions a Gru-Some Addition to Despicable Me Series You would think after two successful films, the lovable yellow Minions would be able to carry their own movie. Alas, this was not the case. This prequel to the Despicable Me franchise left much to be desired among viewers, and no amount of bananas could save it. Key Quote: “Lackluster sequels aren't unusual—they're the rule, not the exception—but because Minionsis aimed at a younger audience, the dissatisfaction in this case feels all the more despicable.”   5. American Sniper an Important, Harrowing Account of Modern Warfare's Toll The late-blooming American Sniper never truly received the accolades it deserved. Clint Eastwood’s adaption of the true-life story of Chris Kyle served as a powerful treatise to the horrors of war. With a healthy mix of bravery and faith, American Sniper will resonate with audiences everywhere. Though technically a 2014 release, this review was, nonetheless, one of our most-read in 2015.SEE ALSO: False Teaching, Hell & Gay Marriage: Crosswalk's Top 10 Trending Articles of 2015 Key Quote: “American Sniper takes a sympathetic view of the military without being blindly pro-war. The fact that it's not overtly anti-war will no doubt result in some knee-jerk cries of jingoism (especially given Eastwood's outspoken conservatism), but in truth what we have here is a film that’s respectful, honest, and complicated.”   4. 90 Minutes in Heaven Video Movie Review Crosswalk’s Shawn McEvoy and Steve McGarvey take on Don Piper’s miraculous story of survival in this video review of 90 Minutes in Heaven. Did this faith-based movie spend too much time in limbo? Click below to find out! CrosswalkMovies.com: from crosswalkmovies on GodTube.   3. CrosswalkMovies.com: Our Top 10 Movies of 2014, Video Version Near the end of every January, we release our take on the previous year's top movies, and it's always one of our most popular 'reviews' of the year. Hoping for another walk Into the Woods? Perhaps another foray into the world of Legos? Just click play on the video below! (Look for our 2015 list coming out January 29!). CrosswalkMovies.com: Top 10 Movies of 2014 from crosswalkmovies on GodTube.   2. Kendrick Brothers Starting to Win the Battle with War Room War Room proved to be one of 2015’s most popular films, dominating the box office and defying the expectations of critics. The film served as an encouraging reminder to Christian viewers on the power and importance of prayer. We can only hope more films like it are on the horizon.       Key Quote: “War Room’smessage is one that Christians embrace: that prayer is the key to winning battles in life that we can’t win on our own—or, as Miss Clara puts it early in the film, ‘Victories don’t come by accident.’”   1. In Defense of Christian Cinema: A Review of Do You Believe? Crosswalk’s number #1 review of 2015 turned out to be much more than just a review. Author Christian Hamaker used the new film as an opportunity to consider all Christian films and their place in the world of pop culture. While it posed some difficult questions, it also encourage readers to engage the world with powerful, Christ-centered stories.        Key Quote:“Do You Believe? is a multicharacter study about lives that ultimately intersect. Some of them are believers, some are skeptics, some are grieving and some are being tested. They're all dealing, in one way or another, with the cross of Christ and the message it conveys.” What about you? What were your favorite movies of 2015? googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-2'); }); if (gptClientWidth >= 992 && gptClientWidth <= 1000000) googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('gpt-ad-3'); }); *Published 1/13/2015 ]]>
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Breitbart Staff1
Big Hollywood



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • ‘Minions’ Review: Family-Friendly Prequel to ‘Despicable Me’ Films
    It’s been five years since we were first introduced to super villain Gru (Steve Carell), the lovely three girls he adopted, and his adorable yellow Minions who can only speak in Minion talk, yet have assisted Gru in stealing the moon and capturing other villains for the Anti-Villain League. But how did these little yellow guys come to find Gru, and what was their life like before they met him? Minions is a sweet prequel highlighting these little yellow supporting characters of the Despicable Me films and their journey in finding their new villain mastermind.
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John Hanlon2
John Hanlon Reviews



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • Minions
    Terminator Genisys Poster Making a feature-length film about a group of funny supporting characters is always a tricky proposition. Making a feature-length film about a group of funny supporting characters who barely speak in words— let alone...
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  • The Movies of 2015
    (”Minions” is briefly mentioned in this.)
    The end of 2016 is quickly approaching. With that in mind, patient I went back and created a list of all of the films that I reviewed this year and the different ratings I gave them. Of course, story this isn’t a complete list of all of the films I saw this year....
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Michael Medved1



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • Minions
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Amerika.org Staff1
Amerika.org



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • Happy Consumerist Holiday, Folks
    (”Minions” is briefly mentioned in this.)

    Happy Consumerist Holiday, Folks

    by Edgar Tru on December 1, 2018

    It is officially December 1, 2018. Happy Consumeristic Holiday, folks. That is the sentiment echoed far and wide across the plains of capitalistic America. ‘Tis the season to… buy, buy, buy things made in China!

    The human experience has many shades. Some grey, others more in-tune with nature and rejecting materialism. Back in my day, I was also caught up in the Red Ryder (you’ll shoot your eye out, kid) excitement and loved coming downstairs to a vast set of plastic goodies and those Christian books I never liked or read. From my observations, today in the latter teens of twenty-first century America, that is still the ideal imagery we manifest. Except it has only intensified.

    This article is not a jab at those who indulge in material and product from time to time. It’s normal and natural to amuse ourselves with neat gadgets or decorate our living quarters with a style fitting to our personality or preferred aesthetics we wake up to every morning. But Christmas — that long-lost pagan festival somehow turned Christian holiday — has turned an eye for consumerism, credit card debt and sports a mindless product-consuming Black Friday bashing. It might as well be a sport at this point. A sort of Christmas wrestling, perhaps?

    It has been said by many that, essentially, humans are creatures of worship. Tucker Carlson made a remark on this in a recent interview conducted by “classical liberal” Dave Rubin. It is an interesting thing to observe, especially since religion has declined while atheism (or agnosticism, if you like) has risen. There is still debate about how accurate that is, but in observing the dominant pop culture while utilizing the internet as well, it isn’t difficult to see a lack of interest in religion.

    So, what happens when faith in God (the god of the Torah and Evangel) declines? What does the human animal do? Have you ever seen the film Despicable Me? In the series of films that it spawned there are these little yellow creatures known as “minions.” Minions have only one task in their lifetime: to serve a villainous master. In an offshoot from the original formed a film simply titled Minions. In that film the poor little guys struggle to find a new master to serve. But due to their clumsiness and dumb luck they end up getting killed every master they come to serve; thus, they fall into a deep state of depression and crave a new master to serve which, in effect, sends three brave minions on a task to find their new master.

    That is, in some light, humans in a nutshell. We aspire to reach for something higher than ourselves. Again, what happens when faith in God declines? Humanism rises. And why not? Why not strive for a grand Utopia (or something very close) and end war, end suffering, end violence and murder and rape and starvation? In truth, if it wasn’t such a falsehood hell-bent on its own destruction, I’d consider it perhaps the most valuable of all pursuits. However, it is simply fable. You may find more truth in a Biblical God than in the False Doctrine of Equality.

    Rounding this back to Christmas, is it not also a form of worship? It isn’t just fiction when folks produce content that emphasizes the zombie qualities of the contemporary Western soul as they gleefully dive into their digital world through means of the cellphone. I’ve been near car-to-car contact because of drooling fools on their phones. Often times female, mind you. And that’s the new norm. That’s the world the next generation shall inhabit.

    Christmas in November is a thing now. Seeing Christmas items displayed in stores, while still in October, is within the range of normal. Capitalism has turned into competition among corporations for the attention of the population. Competition heats up and burns away any authentic remaining fabrics of what Christmas used to stand for.

    It may have gone through several revisions so the original script may be forever lost, but it always had one thing at its center: family. Whether Christmas has tangled up a Pagan holiday with Christianity is not the point here. The point is that even the last vestiges of the original sentiment of family and charity has faded, drowned out by commercial after commercial, new cool toy after cool new toy. I despise the image of the latest and greatest Apple product being propped up as “hip and cool” millennials dressed in tight jeans and swag sweater vest prance around, smiling big white teeth and taking selfies and InstaWhore updates, as they zombie out into digital nothingness.

    The godlessness of the West might actually destroy itself. Humanism, corporatism, consumerism, materialism, and atheism take the place of having a culture and a belief in life itself. I foresee disaster as the West rejects religion and instead embraces the mindless “let’s live in a borderless society and buy cheap Chinese crap” mentality.

    Perhaps it is, as some have dubbed it, a “secular religion,” one where the theistic god has vanished and been replaced with the god of egalitarianism, which is a fancy way of worshiping ourselves. Maybe it’s time to get on our knees and worship something besides ourselves. Because that void bubble of secular consumption and humanism will, at some given point, implode.

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The Federalist Staff2
The Federalist



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • Why Hollywood Will Always Be Sexist
    (”Minions” is briefly mentioned in this.)
    In early December, Carey Mulligan’s performance in the historical drama “Suffragette” failed to net a Golden Globes nomination, even after the film had expanded into 17 locations. This bump placed the title on just over 500 screens after a month in theaters, a sign its studio, Focus Features, was employing the staggered release. Often used to build interest in a “serious” film, this strategy attempts to generate Oscar interest. Should the film earn notice from the Academy, this normally would be considered good news. I am not convinced. More likely is that any amount of nominations “Suffragette” may receive will not be “enough,” and any awards it subsequently does not win will become a sign of a “problem.” This is where we are in the third-wave feminist era: movies expected to curry favor from feminist leaders instead inspire pitchforks. It has been, for generations, a complaint that Hollywood is a gender-excluding sexist laboratory. While that has been mostly an accurate assessment, things are improving. Gradually more opportunities abound for females, actresses are being offered better roles, and movies are featuring a wider array of female-centered subjects. Great job, gentlemen! Except. For all the advancements and improvements, one cycle continues: the women remain unhappy. They actually appear to be getting angrier. You Can Never Please Us 2015 has been a confounding year for Hollywood in general. The industry renowned for being a liberal hotbed for social issues has been repeatedly targeted by its acolytes for perceived insurrections. The activist set has poured forth consistent rebukes on Hollywood titles, whether it be “offensive” displays of foreigners (“No Escape”), appropriation of native culture (“Aloha”), or, as always, racism (“Get Hard”). When a film centered on the historic gay events at “Stonewall” was released, it wasn’t celebrated for honoring this event, but instead received loud scorn and protests for improper racial casting. The industry renown for being a liberal hotbed for social issues has been repeatedly targeted by its acolytes for perceived insurrections. This rabid cultural rigidity became so ridiculous that a film lampooned the social-justice-warrior overreactionaries. They promptly acted exactly as expected. Writer-director Eli Roth mocked the professional hand-wringing crowd in his horror satire “The Green Inferno” this fall. His film focused on a group of know-little busybodies who travel to the rain forest to save a beleaguered tribe of natives, only to be violently set upon by their very beneficiaries. Right on cue, Roth faced protests and boycotts, because how he displayed this fictional tribe of people was apparently xenophobic. While Hollywood had a tough year pleasing its own, the most rancorous group, with the most complaints, has to be the feminist outrage brigade. These Feminists Are Stoking Sexism Almost this entire year, the feminists have found reasons to screech at studios. When the films featured strong female characters and gender-appropriate casts, they still found issues worthy of scorn, because these days everything is a problem. By lashing out instead of supporting films with a strong female presence, they create a disincentive program. I’m sure the grievance gals feel empowered and elevated when carping about the proper depiction of women in, let’s say, a dinosaur movie. However, by lashing out instead of supporting films with a strong female presence, they create a disincentive program. Why would studios invest money and effort into bold gender content when they will not reap a receptive audience, and further get excoriated in social media for the effort? In February it began with “50 Shades of Grey,” based on a publishing property few men read. The book series, dubbed “mommy porn” while dominating book charts, was written by a woman and sprang out of “Twilight” fan fiction; it would be hard to get farther away from the male audience. Feminist thinkers managed to elide all of this female-driven passion and excoriate the damaging aspects. See, the abusive relationship depicted was actually bad for the very audience clamoring for the content. Women Are Strong—Except When They’re Not This summer we witnessed stark bipolarity of the women’s groups towards film through the escapades of Joss Whedon, the king of nerd fanboys. Whedon is an unapologetic leftist, and the writer-director has been largely regarded as a sane voice for women’s issues. His scripts are commonly praised for their strong female roles. So it was possibly from a position of perceived safety that he initiated an attack on behalf of the ladies. Yet as Howard’s character followed the third-wave blueprint, its very same societal architects deemed it offensive. In April, based upon the trailer, Whedon led the mobs on “Jurassic World” for what he considered a retrograde characterization of a powerful female. Bryce Dallas Howard played the role of CEO of the reinvigorated dinosaur theme park, and her portrayal rankled Whedon and others. The fact that she was cold, emotionless, and hard-edged apparently was a caricature. As Joss said in a tweet: “…and I’m too busy wishing this clip wasn’t 70’s era sexist. She’s a stiff, he’s a life-force – really? Still?” Now, speaking as a testosterone-polluted male, I know I’m not supposed to understand. I’m handicapped by a pragmatism in which previously spoken words carry value. For a generation, feminists have lectured society on the expectations of modern femininity. We have been told by feminists women can be just as tough as men in the business climate, and Howard delivered exactly that. Feminists bristle at female characters placed in the helpless maiden role, and Howard’s Claire ran the show at the new “Jurassic World.” Feminists have long been abrasive at any mention that women may view motherhood as a priority. Claire exemplified this, viewing her pre-teen nephews almost as alien entities. Yet as Howard’s character followed the third-wave blueprint, its very same societal architects deemed it offensive. The Mob Turns On Its Leader In hilariously revelatory fashion, a mere month later Whedon found himself on the receiving end of the exact outrage he had helped stoke. His “Avengers: Age Of Ultron” included Black Widow, the fiery and self-sufficient heroine played by Scarlett Johansson. A mere month later Whedon found himself on the receiving end of the exact outrage he had helped stoke. However, in a bid to lend shading and character development, Whedon had his widow display reticence at becoming infertile. This was an unpardonable sin, especially since a male had crafted this emotional subterfuge! Joss became the focus of an Internet avalanche of pique; in a manner, after calling for people to take up the torches he was summarily punished for the resulting carbon footprint. The gynocentric fury was so intense that Whedon was reputedly chased off Twitter. (Whedon disputes that, although the timing was exact.) All of this because a female betrayed emotion regarding child-rearing. The mere possibility of a woman pausing over these thoughts was so offensive that a response was required on par with that of an astrophysicist’s wardrobe selection eclipsing his career accomplishment. Note the major paradox: Over the course of two films, released a month apart, one character considers kids, the other abhors them, and both are offensively inaccurate in the minds of feminists. And men wonder why they never understand the female mind. Do as Commanded, and How Dare You Pander These gender insurrections within Hollywood are not limited to adult fare. Numerous children’s titles also provided problematic content that had to be addressed. Take “The Minions,” a brazenly sexist film. How? Well, have you noticed that amidst the titular lackeys there are no females to be found? Now, being a Y chromosome-addled individual, it would never occur to me to view the animated depiction of a nonexistent species as exclusionary, and therefore offensive. Nonetheless, over at The Wrap they dug into this “problem.” They intentionally made the minions all male because of their venality and addled thinking? It turns out director Pierre Coffin had a justifiable explanation: “Seeing how dumb and stupid they often are, I just couldn’t imagine Minions being girls.” Wait, wait, WAIT! They intentionally made the minions all male because of  their venality and addled thinking? That list of negative qualities is blatant misandry! This is a wildly unacceptable affront to my gender, and someone needs to be held accountable!! Oh, hell, I cannot even fake that kind of dopey outrage. Moving on to the next kids’ fare provocation, there was “Inside Out,” a prime example of women being favorably represented and therefore feminists being upset. The creative film featured five emotions—three of which are females—characterized in the mind of a pre-pubescent girl. This means 75 percent of the primary characters are female. Cause for celebration? Hardly. See, the character Sadness (voiced by “The Office” alum Phyllis Smith) was somewhat portly. This was a shameful example of body-shaming, understand. Apparently Hollywood is supposed to have a uniform, positive anatomical standard for any female character. (This means they need to excise Fat Amy from all “Pitch Perfect” content.) This edict from the Huffington Post defies the reality of that very outlet energetically reporting on America’s obesity epidemic, and positive female portrayals override accurate reflection. There was ‘Inside Out,’ a prime example of women being favorably represented and therefore feminists being upset. The zeal to lambaste all potentially egregious content stretched to the short film Pixar offered ahead of “Inside Out,” titled “Lava.” This Hawaiian-themed tale is about a forlorn volcano who soon finds love with a newly formed volcano. The problem? The lead volcano was seen as a corpulent male, and the newly arrived female mountain was a lithe female. Can’t you just feel the oppression? This short, according to the Estrogen Squad, was a clichéd trope of the slovenly wretch obtaining the gorgeous maiden. However, as this writer delivered a lengthy screed that takes three times as long to read as “Lava’s” run-time, she bypassed a simple, verifiable fact: The characters classified as offensive and unrealistic, were based directly on a real-life couple—the Hawaiian legend Israel Kamakawiwo’ole and his wife. We Demand Racial Purity October saw what may be the worst offending piece of misogyny this year from Hollywood: “Jem and the Holograms.” I know, I know—you are thinking, “Isn’t that a film with actresses in the leads, based on a proto-Hannah Montana cartoon about a female business owner and successful singer who forwarded the message of girl-power? How is that anti-female?” Oh, you poor naïve soul. This is the worst possible movie from the female perspective! All I know is that this is a title I could not see inspiring a single male ticket buyer, yet the ladies had a field day thrashing it. How, you ask? Well . . . Honestly, don’t ask me. All I know is that this is a title I could not see inspiring a single male ticket buyer, yet the ladies had a field day thrashing this movie more than an intersectional symposium at Vassar University on the barbarism of “The Joy of Cooking.” So many things were wrong with this film it is hard to know where to begin. Maybe starting with race, of course. See, the holograms were a group of diverse lasses, and while the onscreen quartet is rather diverse the ethnic roles were played by actresses of mixed lineage. So they are not diverse enough. Honestly, biracial actresses are not racially pure enough to play a cartoon character. Soak in that sentiment. Other issues? How about that even though the film looked like sorority rush week, there was a sausage party behind the camera? “Let’s remember for a moment the film has a pretty glaring problem,” we are cautioned at Ravishly. “And yes, it has to do with gender.” (Of course it does.) “The silver screen version of this female-empowerment tale is being spearheaded by a male director, male screenwriter, and eight male producers.” So, you do not applaud these men for bringing a female-based property to screen. Instead, you get in a snit over the gender makeup of the credit sequence. Any other transgressions this animated remake is guilty of foisting on females? Well, there was that miniscule budget. It was made by the bargain studio Blumhouse Productions (and for an amount higher than most of their Paranormal Activity films) but, you see, this is deeply offensive. “Did you know Jem and the Holograms cost just $5 million to make?” asks Pajiba, clearly onto something big. “The fact that Jem and the Holograms’s budget was so comically small makes me wonder if it’s that we don’t value girls’ nostalgia as highly as boys’.” Well, obviously we don’t. Biracial actresses are not racially pure enough to play a cartoon character. Soak in that sentiment. Then, if you suspect there was little else about a disposable release to get riled about, the lack of verisimilitude to the original property was enough to generate death threats towards director Jon Chu and producer Jason Blum. Read that again: Fans of the “Jem and the Holograms” cartoon threatened the life of the creators. Seriously, I can never again be accused of overreacting to whatever happens during a hockey game. I’m beginning to wonder if Hollywood has every reason to be a misogynist industry. These two men (I do apologize for that microagression) spent ten years getting Jem to the screen, and how were they rewarded by the feminist mindset? Scolded, threatened, and boycotted. That budget of “just” five million? It will lead to a loss for the studio. Jem was such a dismal release it set a record for the lowest opening of a movie released onto 2,400 screens. Ever! ‘Suffragette’: The Consolation Prize? But hey, at least there is “Suffragette.” Now here is a film above reproach. It is pure feminist content and paints a favorable image of the gender in historical terms, which will be roundly embraced by all women who . . . No wonder audiences get slates of summer releases filled with remakes, sequels, and reboots. Uh, nope. Outlets took issue with the fact that the final cut of the film edited out scenes involving a lead character enduring some physical abuse. And (as always) there’s race issues, given the film only focused on white, female power brokers. And the female stars got in trouble for the t-shirts they wore to promote the film, and I CAN’T EVEN ANYMORE! Seriously, this tears it. Everything—everything—studios attempt to please women is wrong: biopics, nostalgia, kids movies, tepid erotica, and even sci-fi romps. All of it is offensive, filled with nothing but content aggression and problematics. No wonder audiences get slates of summer releases filled with remakes, sequels, and reboots. The moment film companies attempt to appease the crank set they are on the receiving end of reprisals and boycotts. Consider this for a moment, ladies: studios can absorb the same type of vitriol from you for not making gender-appropriate titles. The main difference? They could save a ton of money in the process. ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)
  • Why Disney And Steven Spielberg Will Never Work Together Again
    (”Minions” is briefly mentioned in this.)
    The release of “The BFG” has many people (mostly marketers) excited at the collaboration between director Steven Spielberg and Disney Studios. Two esteemed names in family entertainment are coming together to deliver an adaption of a children’s classic from author Roald Dahl. What seems like a natural partnership has never taken place before, and the economic forces of their industry have basically stipulated it may never happen again. Casual audience members may regard the legendary director and the family studio titan as natural partners. Fact is, it is a strange collaboration when you consider Spielberg has his own studio (DreamWorks) with its own animation division. While Disney has had a longstanding distribution deal with DreamWorks and despite teaming up with Spielberg, it announced last fall that contract will expire this August. That is but one curiosity in the ever-evolving financial backstory involving these two entities. The competition between these “partners” has always been present, and it means that getting the movie completed is no small wonder. The marriage bringing “The BFG” onscreen this Friday will culminate in divorce in just a few months. A Partnership Doomed From the Beginning Spielberg famously created his new studio in 1994 with two other Hollywood figureheads: record and film mogul David Geffen and longtime studio executive Jefferey Katzenberg. Katzenberg had rejuvenated Disney in both animation and live-action titles throughout the 1980s and had just resigned from the company when he teamed with Spielberg, a sign Disney would be ever-present on their young studio’s horizon. DreamWorks, as a fundamental partner with Universal Studios, found enough early success to create its own animated film division (DreamWorks Animation). Following a deal with Paramount, DreamWorks Studio entered into a financing arrangement with Reliance, an investment firm from India. The segregated live-action division entered into a distribution deal with Disney in 2009. That partnership has not been fruitful. While some titles had a measure of success, more common have been notable thuds, such as “Fright Night” or “Need For Speed.” Then there was the execrable scud “Cowboys And Aliens.” Perhaps the House of Mouse developed an antagonistic attitude as a result of these monetary shortfalls. Meanwhile, in 2014 Katzenberg was shopping the DreamWorks Animation side for a buyer. After a Japanese offer fell through, he nearly had deal brokered with Hasbro that November. The toymaker has not only licensed its properties for motion pictures (such as “Transformers,” “G.I. Joe,” and “Battleship”), it has also developed its own production division. The desire to have an animation outlet for its licensed products was obvious and would have been a blessing. Until the Mouse showed up. Just days after announcing the possible merger, Hasbro cut off the negotiations. The reason? Disney executives approached the toy producer in opposition, lest it be considered a competitor. Hasbro suits crunched the numbers: the company had not only generous arrangements involving Marvel and Star Wars characters, but a new contract set to cover the lucrative Disney Princess ensemble. Walking away from DreamWorks was sound, given these Disney deals amount to one-third of Hasbro’s business. But don’t cry for Jefferey and Steven. Two weeks ago, regulators approved the purchase of their division by Universal’s parent company, Comcast. By combining DWA with Comcast’s Illumination Entertainment (makers of “The Minions”), the communication giant aims to become competitive with Disney in animation. That would explain the valuation of the purchase price—Comcast dropped $3.9 billion on the studio. Does that sound like it overpaid? Indeed. For perspective, when Disney purchased the more dependable Star Wars franchise, the price tag was $4 billion. Not only is DreamWorks of lower value, Comcast is buying a DreamWorks Animation unit with just a many problems as diamonds in the vault. So Much for That Promise “Entertainment is one of the bright spots of our economy,” said President Obama from the parking lot of the DreamWorks Animation campus in November 2013. “The gap between what we can do and what other countries can do is enormous. That’s worth cheering for.” This was not the first time Obama could be accused of being tone-deaf to economic realities. That day the president was visiting Katzenberg, one of his biggest campaign contributors, and taking a tour of the facilities. Considering Katzenberg had helped raise nearly half a million in cash for his elections, you can see why Obama would lavish praise on the man and his company. You cannot see how he was accurate, however. Just weeks following the upbeat speech, hundreds of DreamWorks employees drove off that same parking lot for the last time, laid off by the studio. Katzenberg also made a startling announcement soon after: he would close the nearby PDI studio, a longstanding animation office complex DWA took over in the 1990s. There was an even starker reality behind these moves. Obama had campaigned in 2012 on policies of preserving American jobs, and castigated opponent Mitt Romney for supposedly “outsourcing” work to other nations. After Obama’s upbeat speech, Katzenberg was slashing workers and closing offices in the United States, but not abroad. Opposite to claims from the man he financially backed for high office, DWA scaled back its release schedule and began farming out more animation work on future films to divisions in Canada and Asia. Comcast bought into a company truncating its releases and sitting on successes tied to tired franchises. Following those layoffs, the studio saw losses from it release “Mr. Peabody and Sherman,” the third title of its last four releases to lead to a write-down in stock reports. Those fortunes have recently improved, with “Home” and “Kung Fu Panda 3” becoming money makers, but those were released one full year apart. If Comcast expects to use a depleted DreamWorks to compete with Disney, it is a very long-range plan. It would take years just to get the DWA release schedule back to a more active level. In the meantime, Disney is in such a good position it may not even be regarding Spielberg’s “The BFG” as a lynchpin for its release calendar. Disney recently shattered the record for the fastest-ever to earn $1 billion at the box office in a year. More impressively, that feat took place a full five weeks before “Finding Dory” had been released to record-breaking numbers. ]]>
    ...
    (Review Source)

John Nolte1
Daily Wire / Breitbart



(Reviewers' Site/Bio)

  • The Best and Worst Movies of 2015
    (”Minions” is briefly mentioned in this.)
    Because I am lucky enough to live in the sticks of North Carolina, unlike my Los Angeles days, I don’t see everything because most of the smaller Oscar-bait movies fail — with good reason — to make their way out into the Real World. Which is a good thing because most of those movies are pretentious pails of crap. If you think I’m at all disappointed that I missed the chance to watch Eddie Remayne pretend to be a Danish Girl — yeah, no. The worst movies in the world are those Hollywood makes for themselves, and life is just too short. That’s the long way of telling you that my list of the best and worst movies of 2015 is based on what I had the opportunity to see, which was primarily the mainstream commercial stuff, which are the movies I usually enjoy the most anyway. By the time the Oscars rolls around,  with the help of the miracle of pay-per-view, I’ll catch up on the pretentious pails, but in the meantime, here’s the rundown. Overall, this was not a great year, even for commercial movies. Last year we got “American Sniper,” “Captain America: The Winter Solder,” “X-Men: Days
    ...
    (Review Source)

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